damn it i lost my key!
7/23/11
Tonight is the first night at the Kaiser Manoalua Hospital, i am so tired of waking up every 5 minutes to readjust my suction tube so i wouldn’t choke on my saliva. I ask the doctors to take me off morphine because i was having intense hallucinations. I was in so much pain, the whole night im laying in bed i couldn’t stop crying, but there was no sound coming out because my throat was crushed, the tears was dripping down from my sewed shut eyelid but i can’t do anything to wipe it. Every 4 hours i will have to take blood thinner shots on my stomach, because my arms are so swollen by all the IV tubes and all the other shots i had to take. I couldn’t eat since my mouth was wired together so when i need to eat they will take out the oxygen tubes from my nostrils and put a feeding tube through to put liquid through from my nostrils into my digestive core. I couldn’t wait till day light when i can hear my mom’s voice telling me that i will make it and everything is going to okay, for the next two weeks the sound of my mother’s voice was the only thing that got me thru each night.
I wanted to die every single night.
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Gotta love kona :)
keeping up with my roots :P
7/22/11
I may or may not have lost count of the days, from what i can remember they are transporting me to a different hospital today. Two transporters came to my room and lifted up the sheet to move me to a different bed, they were really nice an gentle about it. After loading me on to the ambulance and made sure all the tubes that were suppose to be hooked up to me, they offered me a couple more shots of morphine to help me coup with the anxiety of being in a vehicle and also for my pain. The transporters reassured me that everything is going to be okay and closed the door. As i was laying in the back of the ambulance i can hear the traffic outside of the car, i can’t help but starting to panic about the fact that i think i will get hit by another car again, but none the less we made to the next hospital safe and sound.
After they took me off of the ambulance, and made sure i wasn’t choking they wheeled my bed into the elevator and took me to my assigned room. They made sure i was being put into a nice room with a great view over looking the court yard, but unfortunately with my right eye sewed shut, and let eye without my contact i am practically blind. This is going to be my home for the next 3 weeks.